When we were young girls, my sisters and I learnt to co-operate, fight with each other (there was a lot of that, imagine six teenage girls), defend ourselves and protect each other from outside influences.
As young adults ladies, the closeness got replaced with distance. We got into relationships, had jobs out of town, made friends with families with different values and contact was minimal unless a family gathering called for everyone to get together.
As I’ve grown into middle-age, I’ve started to develop an increasing yearning to be and spend more time with my lovely sisters. I have five sisters ranging from 49yr – 63yr and over the past 3 years, the need to build and resurrect a relationship with them has become a mission that I want to fulfil. When talking to each one of them over this time, it became apparent that they were also experiencing the same yearnings.
I noted too that my relationships with my friends have been waning and time spent with each of them has been decreasing rapidly. Yet, I felt no sense of loss over these relationships.
I pondered the differences between my relationships with my friends and the one with my sisters and this is what I came up with:
• I don’t have to dress up or look nice and pretty for my sisters, they take me as I am, warts and all and will always have my back, even when they don’t need to. And it’s fantastic that there is always someone to go out with for company & social gatherings.
• As sisters, we share ideas more openly & honestly than with our friends and these ideas tend to be deeper and relative to personal life issues. And whether I like it or not, we sisters will tell each other what we need to hear, not what we want to hear.
• We can and have had many “fall-outs” with each other, yet we will always protect and help each other in a crisis. We give each other full emotional support, no questions asked. We listen, we hug, we sit, we share and mostly, we care!
• Having the same family values & generational experiences has created an unspoken
bond and closeness that I have not found with my friends. My sisters and I share early childhood memories and can identify with each others personal references.
In Summary, I reckon being a sibling sister is a very special thing. It makes us feel unique as an entity with our own values and frames of reference. It’s connection gives us a sense of trust, honesty and integrity ingrained from a lifetime of knowing each other.