A very common dialogue that I had with many customers when I had my retail business. We all begrudge it, yet wish our children well. We miss the opportunities to play or even growl our grandchildren, yet know the challenge of watching a little toddler and sigh with relief.
We send our children to school, to develop skills that we assume will help them in adult life. As teenagers they develop a sense of self, coupled with a desire to follow “a calling”. One of which is to travel & settle somewhere out of NZ.
As parents, we nurture, support & guide them into a direction that we hope will encourage their own individual greatness. Then we pack them up with their teddy bear, a sandwich, a passport, a wad of cash and send them on their way!
We follow them on social media platforms, Instagram and Facebook. We talk to them over skype or messenger video, keeping up with what is going on in their world. We get excited for them and the new promotion or job. We listen when the world seems too big and they aren’t coping. We send Marmite, tomato sauce, Squiggles and Golden Syrup as presents for birthdays & Christmas.

We feel elated and happy when they introduce us to a new boyfriend/girlfriend through the tablet screen. Then new words are introduced in our dialogues…… he/she’s a Keeper, I’m in love Mum, special, We this, We that…..and then……..it hits us……..BOOM!!!!!!

THEY ARE NEVER COMING HOME!
And so it begins. We baby boomers scramble to learn social media because sooner or later…. there will be grandchildren…. and we don’t want to miss out. So we practice “Virtual babysitting”….lol, We learn their local language, we send presents online, we Snapchat, we add peanut butter, Tim Tams, Kiwi and Pukeko bird toys that make the real sounds, to the next shipment over.
I am one of these parents. Its a journey of joy and laughter, sadness and pain. Its the way of the millennial baby boomer parent. Embrace it, Accept it and Enjoy them.

10 replies on “When our adult children live overseas

    1. Thanks, My granddaughter, the pretty girl in the middle, wants to come to NZ to do her University degree next year. She is 16, the same age, her Mum (my daughter on the right) moved to Canada. I’m ssooo looking forward to it.
      Yes, its a real push me, pull you kinda thing being a Mum. I do think even though, its the most unrecognised, most frustrating, underpaid job in the world, its the best vocation ever. Hang in there, you’ll appreciate them more once they’re adults.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I can relate.
    My friend or boyfriend wants to leave… Go work and do his masters in London. His mum is okay but of course she can’t show any form of denial.
    He’s almost 27 ,his grandma has been constantly asking for great grandchildren from him. The mum and grandma really want her to get married…
    I’ve been with him 3 years, I’m a student in my third year. I just didn’t realise he wants a baby but I’m keeping him waiting cause I’ve been telling him I can have a baby once I’ve graduated. Now he wants to go to London. I don’t know how it’s gonna end or continue. I feel like he’s running away from everything including me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What ever you decide, stay true to yourself.๐Ÿค” My daughter decided to travel at 17yrs. She’s now 38, married, 3 children and happy and will probably never come back to NZ to live.๐Ÿค”.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Our youngest is finishing his degree this year in the UK and and already has a job lined up in London. He and his fiancee are committed to coming home at some stage – I am really hoping sooner rather than later!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. It’s a hard one. My daughter and her husband bought their first house just before Christmas๐Ÿ˜ฏ. For me thats pretty much sealed the idea of ever moving home. โ˜น๐Ÿ˜ข.
      I’m pleased she’s happy and wish her the best.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That must be hard. I don’t know how long it will be before our son comes home. Although they want to, the opportunities for him overseas are so massive, we have to, like you, wish them to best and be pleased for them if they decide to stay longer. We are very blessed that the other four children, and the grandchildren are all in NZ which helps.

        Liked by 1 person

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