When we come down from the temporary emotional high of an “in-love” experience, we start pursuing the “real-love” experience.

The “real love” experience unites reason and emotion. Effort and discipline are required to do this and involves an act of Will to accomplish. We make an effort to benefit the other person knowing that if our spouse’s life is enriched by our effort, we too will find a sense of satisfaction in genuinely loving another. Real love cannot begin until the in-love experience has run it’s course.


In my flower shop, when couples came in to buy flowers for family and friends. An in-love couple, who spend large sums of money on flowers would say, “Honey, I like these flowers”, the spouse replies, “Yes, I do too, lets buys those ones then”. They would nod in agreement and help each other get the bouquet to the counter.




In comparison, a real-love couple would play with their preferred bouquet, touching and squeezing the flowers (flowers don’t like being squeezed) and with out looking at each other, will say, “I like these ones”, the spouse would reply “Yeah, but these ones are nicer”, they would continue to pick them up and more often than not, buy both bouquets and leave happy.

If cost was a concern, they would (so it appears) agree to buy a completely different bouquet that neither initially gave any attention too or leave despondent without flowers because they couldn’t reach an agreement.



In summary, when couples buy flowers, one spends more time, the other spends more money.



43 replies on “Real-love

  1. Thanks    for accepting and following my blog.

    I’m available to read your post at my convenient time.

    You have such an interesting topic I will love to read in
    your blog.

    I still remain  the simple blogger…..

    Peace ✌and Love ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I absolutely adore this post.very true….. and funny enough few years back I read this book called I still love you but I’m not in love anymore that kind of made me understand where we were and see everything in an other prospective……a better one.have a good day😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think you’re reading too much into this Robert. This blog is about my observations, conversations and experiences with people I have interacted with.
      I used the term “real love” as a way of readers identifying a situation which we all have experienced in some way.
      Your experience, is different to mine. Everyone’s perspective is different.
      I have not walked in your shoes so have no idea what “Real” is for you.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I love how anecdotes from daily life illustrate such concepts as real love. I agree there’s a difference between being just “in love” and “real love.” One has more to do with attraction, while the other is infused with emotional intimacy and friendship.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I didn’t realise you work with flowers! I am a gardener … when (and I must confess it’s not very often) I walk into a flower shop I just breathe. I just love the smell. If I wasn’t coming across as completely weird, I’d say that actually I could just stay in there all day. My favourites are still the humble daffodil because of childhood memories but my favourite smell must be the rose … every day of the week. Because my husband is in the military we have a house given to us which we rent for a couple of years and then move on, so creating a garden is a bit of a waste of time and money, however I think I might just find a few seed packets and add a little colour even if we’re not going to be here for very long! Lovely, lovely post. Katie x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love flowers. I love gardening more. Must have my hands in the soil, talking to my plants, fruit trees, native trees. Kereru flapping around me; Tui’s singing, blackbirds and sparrows playing around me, waiting for worms. Thank you Katie! You’re awesome…:)

      Liked by 2 people

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